A Beautiful Nightmare

Meet Zane from ChaosMen, who also went by Todd on CorbinFisher and is now apparently going by the name of Tucker. I was obsessed with him for months. I watched and jerked off to all of his videos religiously. Thanks to Zane/Todd/Tucker I have killer forearms. ZTT was in my mind, the ultimate muscle slut. He sucked dick, he fucked and got fucked bareback, and he seemed to enjoy every second of it. On top of that, he greedily gulped down every load of cum, in every scene, and then lapped up every last drop like a hungry little pig. And in his last scene on ChaosMen, he was tag-teamed, condom-free, and had one of the guys blow a wad up his hole. I fell in slut-love. I knew I had to sleep with him. The only problem was figuring out how to make it happen. I contacted ChaosMen numerous times to see if they would put me in a scene with him. Complete failure. They hired me once, I guess I did poorly. They didn't want me back. That was my only option at the time so I figured like Harley and Trey and Curtis and Zack and Brock, the thought of ZTT breeding my fuck hole would just have to remain a fantasy.

Then one day while I was reading The Sword, I stumbled upon an article about how my fellow porn slut, Jesse Santana, was launching his own porn agency, an agency who's roster included ZTT. Without thought or hesitation I called up Jesse and got ZTT's number. I called ZTT. He answered. The stud was friendly and seemingly very available, for anything. He lived in Dallas and faster than I can say "fuck me" I was up there hanging out with ZTT in a hotel room.

During our first night together he was accompanied by a person he called his "friend". When he said "friend" he really meant drug dealer. And when I say drug I mean crack, ghb, ecstasy, heroine, crystal meth, etc. And apparently, ZTT used to be quite the drug maker. After about an hour of Drugs 101 it became quite clear that A: ZTT was stupid. B: ZTT was an avid supporter of illicit drug use. And C: My aversion to drug addicts was not as strong as my sexual addiction to ZTT. I sat through two lines of crystal meth, constant repetition of the sentence: "I'm not addicted to drugs, they just keep me balanced, you know what I'm sayin?", and an eye-rolling story about a "really good friend" of theirs that died earlier in the week due to a drug overdose. "Snorting crystal meth. What a wonderful way to celebrate her life. Now will your creepy drug-dealing friend leave so that we can have sex before you OD and die?" I thought to myself. And after all the drugs had been snorted he did. And then we did.

Surprisingly, the sex was better than I could of ever imagined. In the videos, his body was hot. In person his body was scorching. I am a big chest man and ZTT had the hottest chest ever. He had a very accommodating ass and a dick that never stopped. We kissed. We 69ed. We fucked. We came. And I was hooked. He was desperate, broke, and very alone. When I asked him why he didn't have any close friends he responded that it was due to Dallas's douchey population. I wasn't entirely convinced by his explanation but it was clear that ZTT needed somebody, he admitted that he hated being alone and that he needed help. Me being the helpful glutton that I am, decided to take full advantage of the situation. I thought I could lend him a hand since he was willing to lend me his dick. I thought I had found myself the perfect little fuck stud. ZTT was all for it just as long as I put a roof over his head and food in his belly. We set rules, he could live with me but he couldn't bring any drugs and/or drug dealers anywhere near my house. He told me that it wouldn't be a problem and that he wanted to quit anyway. I believed him and I brought him home to Houston.

Sexually, he proved to be very skilled in the art of making lust. He was very attentive and had no problem following orders. He was always hard when I wanted it and he always came when I needed it. He had no real limits to speak of and was always up for anything I wanted to do. But outside of sex it was a different story... A very different story. There was so much wrong with him I don't know where to begin...

He could fuck for hours but he couldn't hold a decent conversation. He finished every sentence with "You know what I'm sayin" and the only things he really cared to talk about were the drugs that he claimed he wasn't doing anymore and how his looks made him superior to everyone else. He was obsessed with going out to clubs, raves, and after hours parties. And I'm 99% sure he hid drugs in his anal cavity. He would lock himself in the bathroom for hours at a time to shit out the drugs and snort them... Or he had really bad allergies that left behind a white, powdery, crystal-like residue all over my bathroom counter and that were only triggered during really long dumps. You decide.

He talked alot of bullshit like claiming to have the power and connections to shut down the entire porn industry for "screwing him over". I'm not quite sure how he was the one that got screwed over because he readily admitted that he was a no show for numerous shoots for various studios. In fact, I found out that he was a no show for my studio a couple of times. And he violated an exclusive contract with Sean Cody. I'm also pretty sure he was kicked out of the Navy although he claims they just let him walk out on is 5 year commitment 2 years early.

He has some major anger issues and he's an ignorant racist. I don't mean he let "nigger" slip out of his mouth a few times, I mean he said it every time we saw a black guy and he said it with so much anger, disgust, and hatred you could feel it. One night during dinner, he asked me what I thought about the diversity in our country. I told him I thought it was beneficial to our nation. His response. "I hate living next to niggers." I told him his repeated use of that word bothered me. I told him if he kept using it I wouldn't want him living with me. He basically called me stupid for getting offended. I told him his racist rant and remarks made him sound dumb. And then an explosion ensued. Derogatory slurs were yelled in my face, the table was banged and beaten, and a beer mug was flung at my face with great velocity. Fortunately he missed and it just shattered into a million little pieces against the back wall of a very busy restaurant. The place went dead silent. Everyone stared. ZTT ran out and I was left to apologize for the disturbance. That was the last straw. It was then that I fully realized why ZTT had absolutely no friends, no boyfriend, no girlfriend, no money, and no hope. It wasn't because he preferred being alone and it definitely was not because "Dallas is full of assholes" like he vehemently claimed. No. ZTT was alone because HE was an asshole. A crazy, roid-raged, drug-addicted, racist asshole with a serious case of Attention Deficit Disorder and a complete lack of sexual identity. I dropped him off in Dallas the next day.

Over the next few days I received various threats and bogus accusations from ZTT via text message. He called me cold hearted for leaving him in Dallas penniless and alone. Maybe I was. He accused me of "fraudulent activities" and promised to get my website shutdown. That was a joke. He claimed I stole from him even though he had no money when we met and I paid for everything the entire time we hung out. He even threatened violence if I didn't send him his money. All of the accusations were entirely unfounded and perplexing but some of the physical threats actually did scare me:

"I will come down there make you regret ever meeting me. You have no idea what I am capable of. I will make your life a living hell. You better watch your back. I know where you live"

The threats eventually dissipated and were replaced with insults:
"You're ugly. No one wants you anymore. You're a whore"

But now the messages are mostly suicidal:
"I hate my life. I'm all alone. I have no one. I should throw myself off a building. I'm going to kill myself. Goodbye."

I wish I could say I cared but I don't. If you do care, and you know him, then help him.