Post Scriptum

By MARCUS WYLER

Dear Public Diary,

I've talked to Mason about our relationship. I always make it a point to communicate with him on issues that really concern us. I would never ask you, Public Diary, for advice before exhausting all of my other options first. At this point in time, there's nothing left to say to Mason on the subject matter. I'd just be a broken record to his ears, all he'd hear is the repetition of noise and as history has shown, that would just agitate him. I've told him everything I've ever felt about him, everything I've ever been hurt by, in a million different ways but it never yields any change in his behavior. I know that relationships need a bit of compromising on both ends to work, but I don't know how much more I can compromise before I have nothing left to give.

Sincerely,
The Boy Who Is Just Venting
Marcus Wyler

Trouble in Paradise

By MARCUS WYLER

Dear Public Diary,

What do I want in life? That question seems to get harder and harder to answer every day. I use to want love. Incredible, earth shattering, can't live without it kind of love. A love so strong that nothing could break it. I thought I found that, in Mason, but I'm not so sure anymore. I use to really love him, faults and all. But sex(among other things), seems to have muddied everything up. I'm mostly to blame. I'm the one who set up our first 4-way. I'm the one who stuck around after each and every time I caught him cheating on me. I'm the one who suggested that he do porn. I'm the one who said that it's perfectly acceptable for him to mess around off camera as long as he doesn't lie about it. I'm the one that stands by his side while he makes out with someone else right in front of me at a bar. And I just laugh it off like it's all perfectly normal. Half of me thinks I'm sex addicted and that I'm just jealous that Mason get's more dick than I do, the other half of me thinks I'm using this obsession with sex to mask the fact that this relationship I'm in isn't really working and never really was from the start. I'm always saying that I'm OK with everything, that I'm in a different kind of relationship and that it works for us... I don't know if I really believe that. I understand that we all have urges and temptations and that no relationship is perfect. I understand that sex can just be sex. But what if it hurts me? What if Mason sleeping with someone else... hurts me? Am I suppose to just deal with it? Is it wrong of me to ask him to refrain from such behavior after years of letting it slide... after years of joining in? after years of pursuing it myself? after years of encouraging it? Have I given up the right to set my foot down and say no every once in awhile? If I still have that right, what should I do if I tell him, "No, not this time", and he totally disregards it? Is that cheating? I don't even know what constitutes as cheating in our relationship anymore. It's actually pretty pathetic. Other than Hillary Clinton, I don't know anyone else that would deal with everything I have dealt with and still stick around. Should I stop whining and realize how lucky I am to have him? Or am I fooling myself into believing that he is everything I ever wished for?

Sincerely,
The Boy Who Causes His Own Problems
Marcus Wyler

A Crime is a Crime... Right?

What the hell is the Matthew Shepard Act? Maybe I'm not properly informed but why do gay people want this? How does this benefit our community? Justice is suppose to be blind. When it comes to the court room, it shouldn't make a difference if you're black or white, gay or straight, religious or atheist, physically fit or physically impaired. I don't think the killing or beating of a minority is any more or less despicable than the killing or beating of a non-minority. A homophobic Hungarian tourist who beats a gay geezer to death with a banjo shouldn't have a more severe punishment than a crazy Texan bitch who murders her husband by repeatedly running him over with a car. Regardless of the motivation, no matter which way you look at it, murder is murder. All violent acts are wrong and the level of punishments should match the seriousness of the crimes and the circumstances in which they took place NOT the background/ethnicity/gender/sexuality of those involved.

It Wasn't Me

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