Dear Public Diary,
I've talked to Mason about our relationship. I always make it a point to communicate with him on issues that really concern us. I would never ask you, Public Diary, for advice before exhausting all of my other options first. At this point in time, there's nothing left to say to Mason on the subject matter. I'd just be a broken record to his ears, all he'd hear is the repetition of noise and as history has shown, that would just agitate him. I've told him everything I've ever felt about him, everything I've ever been hurt by, in a million different ways but it never yields any change in his behavior. I know that relationships need a bit of compromising on both ends to work, but I don't know how much more I can compromise before I have nothing left to give.
Sincerely,
The Boy Who Is Just Venting
Marcus Wyler
The Boy Who Is Just Venting
Marcus Wyler
49 comments:
You're gorgeous by yourself - leave him - you think it's painful now - it will only get worse.
One book that might really help you understand how to change it all is maybe "why men love bitches"
Written by Sherry Argov. Wonderful book.
But then again maybe you will just find out that you will need to move on in order to find that what you want.
Don't let fear of being alone stop you from getting the love and respect you deserve.
Stand up and OWN IT.
It sounds like you're growing up and he isn't. Talk to him and tell him you're ready for a more committed relationship and that if he isn't, it's time for you to move on. Do that, or stop complaining about what he does.
Yeah Marcus... it's time to make a decision. You need to talk to him and find out exactly what he wants and let him know what you wants. If he's not willing to listen, then it's time for you to go your separate ways.
Relationships are seldom equal, we all pretend they are, but they are NOT. You deserve every happiness this universe has to offer. He might be a wonderful guy, but he's not for you. Most men think having an open relationship is of, but its NOT, Jealousy eats away atit, very slowly, but surely. Get a man who love you and only you. You deserve it
maybe you two need a short break from each other to realize how much you mean to the other
I hate how people use the anonymous as a scapegoat...if you want to show your feelings, then show your name too. Don't be such cowards and be like people for goodness sake. And one thing I must stress, Marcus is in a very difficult situation....
You can't just order him to do what you think is right. As he said, he comes to us as a last resort. The last thing he wants is for you people to order him around like a 4 year old child.
OK, my opinion on this....
I feared something like this would happen. He is a child at heart, but he wears that personality on his sleeve, which would give mixed opinions on him as a person.
You seem to be wanting to move forward and enhance this relationship, but he doesn't. Is that the time to move on? Or do you stick around waiting for him to change (if he ever changes).
I don't think he is a bad guy Marcus, but I do fear that he may turn against you if you decide to leave him. But then again, I'm not in this relationship, so I don't know the ins and outs of the situation.
Just do what you think is right. We only have one shot in this life, so do whatever you think is right, and stick by it.
Xx_RavsDesire_xX
Marcus - I have an elegant solution for you. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post links here but look at the post that Logan wrote on Aiden Ash's blog on the 8th of July, entitled "Letters From My Death Bed..."
There's a very clear analogue between the relationship between Logan and Aiden and the relationship between you and Mason therefore: you should go out with Logan, and Mason should go out with Aiden. You'd have more in common.
You're welcome =)
If you are not feeling fullfilled in the relationship then you should go. One thing I've learned is that people who don't see a problem in what they do will not change regardless of how much you feel for them.
I was in a similar situation, except my ex-bf was not a porn star. Almost everything you wrote
sounds just like me!
I broke up with him, just like you did with Mason, last year; because I wanted a commited relationship and he wanted it open. It was hard, but I let him go.
Then, he begged me to come back, just like Mason did to you and like an idiot, I took him back.
I was suckered back in, because he said he loved and missed me and he would change.
What I wish I would have realized then is that it was cruel of him to beg me to come back to him, when he knew he never had any intention of even trying to stay faithful.
I broke up with him again in April and he is still begging me to come back! It's hard, but I learned my lesson and I'm trying to move on!
If you do break up with him, my advice would be to not be suckered back into the same situation, when he starts begging you to take him back again!
Stay Strong!
Rick S.
Marcus,
It sounds like you entered your relationship with Mason WISHING for a happy ending. You had doubts but were willing to forget them while both of you were enjoying some hot wild sex. Well, unless he is willing to change and take your feelings into consideration, I don't see a happy ending for you.
My advice? Leave him, but remain friends.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words...and inaction speaks loudest of all.
Mason is telling you that he doesn't care to change the current pattern. It's time to move on.
YOU are the most important person in your life - so you need to take care of yourself at this time. Separate yourself from those things that are hurting you, i.e. Mason. Think of it as removing a splinter from your foot. It will sting at first but then it will feel much better. Good luck.
I think you are in a very difficult situation in which many people have been through when thinking about breaking up with someone they love. Your decision should come after you talk to Mason and see what exactly you both want out of your relationship. (Where do you see it in the next six months, year, 3-5 years etc) When you both broke up before wasn't it Mason who tried to change his ways? I think he cares about you and can change. Give him a chance, change doesn't come overnight but it will happen.
I think that if you are not getting to have the kind of relationship you want with mason then you may have to look for love elsewhere.
however I would really stress the hope that you guys would stay friends if you cant be together as lovers, since there is some kind of connection between you two--if there wasn't you would never have been together in the first place.
I know you wrote you only posted this as a last resort but I would hope you would give talking to him another shot, because communicating these feeling will if nothing else be you fully expressing how you feel.
sincerely Seth
Marcus Honey you knew what you were getting when you picked Mason up. He is a real guy and just happens to be super horny and addicted to sex due to hos being bored. I love him and if you want to be with him, deal with it!
Marcus,
u say u have talked to mason about everything thats goin on and how it makes u feel. what i have learned in life is if u tell someone "hey this is hurting me and this is how we can compromise and both be happy.." and they continue the destructive behavior, that person may not care for u as much as u care for them. only thing i can really suggest at this point is just showin mason that u mean business. sure u have told him how u feel and what u think needs to change, but now its time to show him that u are not his personal doormat. talk to him again and explain that u WILL leave him if the relationship continues down the same path its going. if it does, have the courage to pack up and move on. def easier said than done, after i made the decision to leave my ex, it took me another six months to actually do it.
one other thing, i think along the course of this relationship u lost track of who u r and what made u happy. u need to begin to dig deep and find out what it truly is u want from a relationship and in life in order to be happy and begin to focus on that. otherwise, u will leave mason and find another guy just like him and start the vicious cycle all over again. no matter what u decide, make sure u have thoroughly thought it all over and make the choice thats best for u based on what YOU feel k? again i send u my best wishes
STOP posting shit on HIS BLOG and make a decision if you want to be with him or not. Geez it's not that hard.
I think that he is the same Mason you feel in Love with. On one hand you have compromise, but in my opinion the thing that has changed is what you want. Is it fair to ask someone to change who they are to conform to your needs? There is always some type of middle ground but does this mean you both win, or both lose?
You've got to be the change you want to see in your life
Marcus, thanks for sharing/venting. Mason, what is your view & why?
Cambridge,
I don't know either Marcus or Mason, but this information is what they both posted on this blog:
They didn't both break up before, Mason has posted that Marcus left him, which means that Marcus has been unhappy and discussing this issue with Mason for at least a year.
It seems that Marcus broke up with him around the time that Mason brought a third party home and they both got raped. Mason then posted that his goal was to win the love of his life back, even if he had to beg. I'm assuming that he begged for him to take him back and said he would change his ways, which lasted for a few weeks (if you don't count his work scenes as cheating).
It doesn't seem as if Mason wants to change for Marcus. My advice to Marcus is if he leaves Mason, don't take him back, when he begs again. You will find yourself in the same situation, stuck in the same dead-end cycle.
Stay Strong!
Rick S.
I don't think it is so much a decision of leaving or staying. As you both care deeply about each other then at all costs the love you two share should be preserved. I'm not suggesting you continue to go along with Mason's behavior if it causes you so much pain. If you think that in the long run your pain will only grow into anger and resentment that would destroy having any sort of relationship with Mason, then it would probably be best to separate if only to do so to at least preserve your friendship and how deeply you care for one another. Leaving does not mean you two need to make a clean break. If you two are able to set the past aside you both can continue to see and make love to one another any time you two wish. There just won't be the same emotional burden you seem to feel as Mason's official boyfriend. Save what you can. If there later comes a time when you and Mason reach a new understanding of what you want from each other, there will at least still be a foundation for you both to rebuild your relationship on. Take care both of you.
Um you know what you whiney cunt go ride a sand paper dildo. If you cant be a good gold digger then stick with pimpley fry cooks. Get the hell away from mason and dont even think about taking anything out of his house. I'm gonna need those things when I move in. I'll just smack him around if he doesnt do what I say. You blew it ho now step off my bitch!
Hey mister...I'm going to be back in the US on Sunday...sorry we haven't talked since Ft Lauderdale...sounds like it's overdue...call or email if you want to talk. I read the post from F...he hit it on the head, I think. I never got the chance to share my observations with you from that weekend...hope you are both well...you deserve happiness.
I feel a little silly writing this as I don't really know either of you ... but ....
You are both young men in the prime of your lives still discovering what it is you want out of life and the best way to go about getting it. The question of who has changed, who has grown, who is doing what to whom - all of that is ultimately irrelevant. What is relevant is that you have found yourself in a relationship that clearly isn't meeting your current needs.
You ask if you have the right to ask things of him that you didn't before or for him to change behavior that you allowed / encouraged before. Absolutely you do. This relationship isn't all about Mason - or you for that matter - it's about the two of you. And just as you have the right to ask for something more, something different, Mason has the right to say no.
You stay in a relationship you aren't fulfilled in, I guarantee you will start resenting Mason. You've already started devaluing your self-worth. And Mason will come to resent you for wanting him to be something he (apparently) isn't right now.
Is Mason wrong? Are you wrong? No. You're both simply at different places in your life, needing things that you don't seem to be able to give one another - monogamy to you, a free pass for him.
Perhaps it is time you both freed one another to go see what else is out there, to give each other a chance to find what you aren't able to find with one another right now. And consider doing this before all the love you share and the respect you have for one another is crushed by regret and resentment.
Honestly I dont know what you where expecting in the relationship your in. You guys have an open relationship, and have sex with allot of people all the time, sometimes sharing and sometimes not, from what I read on here. I just have to wonder, what more did you want out of the relationship? Mason is being him, hes making his money doing the porn and hanging with you in his time. If you wanted a greater or different relationship then you should have not been so lax on your terms with this one. I can understand mason hasn't changed through talks because from my perspective, its more like you have changed and hence decided he needs to changed since you have. Thats not you giving, thats you giving and expecting him to give to.
I dont know either of you but when I read what kind of relationship you have it seems more like, your room mates who are non exclusive and love to do other people, and your only tie is that you live together. There is a reason open relation ships are perceived badly mostly because they dont work. You both are saying its ok to do whatever you want to do, just "dont be in love" with anyone but me, yet the green eyed monster of jealousy rears its head.
Either accept how things are now, or move on to some one else. Asking some on to change because you have decided they should is not how things work.
LEAVE HIM - - it'll be hard for awhile but then you'll start to feel better - then a LOT better - if you go back and read all that Mason has written, it doesnt take a genius to realize that he's selfish and insensitive. LEAVE HIM - and happiness will come - the sooner U do it the sooner U will feel better.
Marcus (and Mason),
You love each other, plain and simple.
First, stop putting blame in one corner or another. Neither of you are at fault based on what you said and the continuation of current action is just a standard you set. You both made compromises to get to where you are at and that is the way it is. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the grass isn't always greener. You are not cheating and he is not cheating since it is the rules you two created together over time. No blame, just choices. You guys didn't compromise, you decided.
Second, porn is a short term career and I am sure Mason will not be doing this forever (just reality). At some point things will slow down and the love you two have needs to be the foundation that you two return to support each other. You both will need it. You both need to remember that as part of your life.
Third, what are you really looking for in your relationship? Just because you feel things are out of control or not working right does not give you a direction. Figure out what you would like to see in your relationship in the future and what you want to change. Then you can approach him with something more substantial, otherwise you are just saying you don't like it, without stating what you don't like or what you want really. Saying you just want everything to stop is not a goal, it is enigmatic. Who says once he stops everything that you will have what you want if you don't really know? If he throws everything in the storage bin, he wants to know he still has you too at the end of it.
Fourth, put a path forward toward a time frame when porn may be done. What do you want? When does he want to retire from porn? Drop one "extra activity" at a time with heading toward that final goal of bliss both of you want after porn. "Compromises" made your current state and the reverse would take them away.
Fifth, always remember your love for each other and make sure you both take time for each other. There is work and then there is personal life and relationship. Too often in the public eye celebrity types lose themselves in their work and in turn lose themselves. Don't let the job consume the personal time. Rekindle your personal time together.
Just some things to think about. Know what you want first before you end what you don't know.
Marcus,
When you and Mason revived the relationship after a hiatus, he basically moved from Dallas to be with you, right? And now you've got five of your family members living in the same house? That tells me breaking up will be inconvenient and messy just from a logistical standpoint.
To be blunt about it, I was surprised to learn some time back that Mason has an older brother. Why? Because he behaves pretty much like a self-centered only child. So much of what he says is about what he wants, did, or hopes to to do or have.
Maybe you two should get involved with a relationship counselor and see where that goes. You might discover some interesting things about yourselves even if the relationship has to end.
Sorry Marcus that you've found yourself in this situation. But in some ways, you've brought this problem onto yourself. Sure its nice to give your partner some leeway, letting him explore and find himself. And no one person owns another person. You just have to hope that person respects you and your feelings. Mason needs help..i think thats obvious to anyone who has read his writings. But the thing is that he needs to realize that he needs help, and you or anyone else cant stress that enough to him. He needs to realize it on his own. So hopefully he will see this post you've made and come to the realization that he is hurting someone that truly cares. If not, then you need to take matters into your own hands and do whats best for you. Hope it works out for you both!
Marcus, It seems to me that he is stuck in a world where he can get whatever he wants. Hes has sunken into a routine where he gets what he wants, his own little world full of sex, sex, and more sex that satisfies his nie insatiable hole. You are apparently acting as a total downer. Marcus, hes being immature. You are the only one in this relationship that is growing up. In my expert opinion, its time for you to move on. Let Mason drown in the sea of cum HE dove into. Do the smart thing thing and get out and onto the only remaining rescue boat. Leave him. Have the courage it takes to know you are fine by yourself and that you can do SO MUCH BETTER than Mason. SO MUCH BETTER.
I left a comment on the last entry. Rather than repeat the whole thing, I'm just going to make the central point but perhaps a little more strongly. As much as it seems some of the people commenting want to make it the case, Mason is not the villan here. I am under the impression that he has been clear about the kind of person he is and you yourself have even encouraged him in his behavior. You want something different in your life. That's fine, but you need to recognize that it may mean you can't be with Mason. This does not make him a bad person nor does it make you in the wrong, but do not cast yourself in the role of victim to an insensitive man. I think you've acknowledged that you made choices that helped create the situation you're in. You don't have to continue to be in this situation. The choice is yours.
Never, ever sell yourself short! You know what you want. He may or may not be able to give it to you. People change, relationships change. If the two of you can't come to a decision that makes you both happy. Then it may be time to part.
Talk to people that know both of you better.(Friends, family,) While some people here may give you some good advice but you do not know there motive. Besides that one person who said there motive Melvin. Others might be wolves in sheep clothing. The people who know both of you are the ones you should really listen. Yes i know i am being a a dumbass by saying this and still giving advice.
This is actually a very easy situation to understand, very difficult to deal with.
I'm surprised (or perhaps not) to see so many ridicolous comments in the two posts.
In a relationship you start setting some rules. This is how things work. Rules are different from relation to relation, and what works for one doesn't work for another.
Rules also change with time, just because situations change and we ourselves change.
A couple who lasts is a couple who manages to adapt to the new situations or to find a compromise that fits both components.
If a couple doesn't find a compromise can still pretend that everything's going well, but it guarantees itself a miserable existence.
So, find these new rules, and it's not possible, part ways... of course it's difficult because there's a feeling, but a couple cannot exist without agreement.
Tell Mason to settle down with you or you're "out the door." It's hard for me to say this, but Mason's porn has become boring as all get out. He needs to retire and settle down.
I think he's going to become a has-been if he doesn't at least up-the-ante for his porn career. He seems so uninspired in his scenes these days. I think he needs to BUFF-UP more, change his look, become a man, and make his porn more interesting. OR, since his ambition seems lacking, he just needs to be with you completely. LIFE would be so good for the both of you! I know this comment is making no sense, but I had to say this. Good luck!
Marcus, hi. Seems strange to me you post these thoughts in Mason´s blog. Seems to me that you want him to notice you´re there, because he´ll read everything we say about your relationship. That won´t get you anywhere. I think that you deserve love and he is not the one who will give u what any of us could expect from a conventional relationship. I mean, you´ll be able to get what we all pay to get from videos, web pages and son on, for free; but you won´t get much more than that, because he´s young and sex-minded, because he´s had any body he could wish for and everything for him is sex-centered and you can´t expect he can deal with commitment, because that´s not in him anymore. You´re beautiful, you know what love and commitment is, so you´re able to give it to someone who has your same expectations. Take your own, be away, remain friends with him but, most important, get back on your feet for you and your future. There´s mucho more if you open the house door and leave everything that hurts behind. Live.
I think if you left him or if he left you, you'd miss what you two had. Work things out and try to think back on why you got into this type of relationship anyways.
seems odd that there is no followup for over two weeks.
Did Wyler Nation take a summer vacation ?
Mr Wyler, I have been enjoying reading your blog quite religously up until it recently dried up. Your blog is special to many people - please keep up the good work. Maybe we can even give you tips or advice along the way too.
Lots of love,
One of your many admirers x
OK people I think it's time to cut out all of this worthless trash about how this blog is starting to go downhill, it's not. I'm guessing that Marcus and Mason wanted some time off, to reflect on the present and the future. So whatever their decision, we must support them 100%, no excuses.
So, in simple terms, we must put aside our differences and focus on the job at hand; making the welcome of Masson and Marcus a happy one.
Not too much to ask, is it?
Xx_RavsDesire_xX
If You Feel like that Than U Need TO TALK TO HIM AND IF HE DOES NOT LISEN JUST PACK YOUR STUF AND LEAVE WHEN HE IS AT WORK AND NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN CAUSE IT DOES SOUND LIKE U GROWING UP AND HE IS NOT BUT DO WHAT U GOTA DO
I'm so glad the blog is back. Can we expect an update soon?
Glad to see you're back online for this blog.
So how did things turn out or has nothing changed between you two ? Marcus ? Mason ?
Mason,
Will we ever hear from you again?
We miss you! :-)
mason, you called me, i dont know your phone number, call me again... DRL.
What is going on at this site, has Mason died? No posts since July!
Very sad I love reading this blog
Hey if its over end it! I get tired of checking for updates, or hire someone with some time management skills to keep it up for you, lol!
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