Suck On These!

Speaking strictly physical appearances here. Some guys are ass-men, some guys are size queens, some guys care more about the size of your body (be it skinny, chubby, or muscled) or whether you have 6 pack abs, while other guys fall for a handsome face. Most guys want all the above plus something else like blond or brunette, brown eyes or blue eyes, and the list goes on and on. In my book, what really matters is how much you have in your bank account. Just kidding.

Like most gays I know, I want a stud who's a "total package". I'm not too particular on color. The color of your hair, eyes, skin, underwear, it doesn't make that much difference to me. Nice muscles, big dick, handsome face, AND a nice ass... That's what really matters. But if you work out at the same gym as I do, or work in gay porn, or live on Planet Earth, you would realize that men who can be classified as "The Total Package" are actually quite plentiful. Once I realized this, then certain physical features, things that can differentiate a person from the pack or make a guy slightly unique amongst his peers, became more important for me to look for.

When asked to choose the hottest between two "Total Packages" based solely on what my eyes can see (not that this happens often or ever), the deciding factor would probably come down to the chests. I'm a chest man with an emphasis on nipples. More specifically, I love gym-sculpted, shirt-stretching pecs and a pair of big, suckable nipples. A man who possessed all the above would send me over the edge.

These guys have my vote for the most suckable pecs/nipples on the internet!

What physical features do you look for in a man?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

Everyone's a Little Bit Racist*

*UPDATE: CLICK HERE for an explanation.


A few days ago, after swimming a couple of laps at the gym pool, I decided to spend a few minutes in the dry sauna while I dried myself off. Two fully-clothed, rotund, black men were sitting inside, one was dressed in a purple sweat suit while the other seemed to be wearing a work uniform. From what I could hear of their conversation, I gathered that they were under the impression that simply causing their bodies to perspire would get rid of their excessive fat content. As I sat down, the one in the sweat suit turned to me and said:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit

"Are you a faggot son?"

Me

"Excuse me?"

And like it was nothing he repeated his question:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit

"Are you a faggot?"

If I was in the suburbs or in one of the many ghettos that surround Houston I could see how this kind of question could be asked with such indifference (and ignorance). But this wasn't a gym in the suburbs or the ghetto, We were in midtown, the gay area of town. It would be an understatement to say that at least 50% of the members in this gym consist of totally out of the closet homosexual men.

Me

"If you are asking me if I am a HO-MO-SEXUAL, then yes I AM A HOMO-SEXUAL. But You shouldn't use that word!"

"What word?" the fat black man in the purple sweat suit asked.

Me

"Faggot. You shouldn't say the word faggot. It's offensive."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Faggots are an offense to god. You need to be a real man, the way god intended you to be"

Me
"Can you please stop saying that word?"

The Fat black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Do you know that it's wrong to be gay, it says it in the bible. Aren't you afraid of burning in hell?"

Me
"Listen, you believe what you want to but please keep it to yourself."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"And what the fuck are you wearing? Some kind of faggot ass bikini? You know this is a gym right?"

I was wearing a speedo. Like the kind pictured above.

Me
"I was swimming. This is what swimmers wear."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Suit
"That's what faggots wear."

I wish I was a better man. A man who could take the high ground, turn the other cheek, and simply just walk away. Or I wish I was able to peacefully converse with those who I may disagree with, without letting anger and hatred cloud my judgement and dictate my actions, but I'm just not that man.

Me
"And that purple sweat suit is what niggers wear"

And then I quickly ran for my life...

When was the last time you were a little bit racist?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

*I'm only racist when I'm put in situations like what I described above... OR when choosing between sex partners. I prefer ethnic boys. But as most of my videos show, I like white boys too.

I Hate the Gays

By James B. Wyler


After Mr. Man Mason decided to call me out, I figured I should write something. The Mason simply could have sent a brother an email, but we all know how that beyotch acts. All you fans keep your funky emails to yourself because the last sentence was a freaking joke.

So here's a story. I'm at my local gay watering hole, lusting after the straight bartender (yes I'm that pathetic), and I look up from my drink. The place is crowded. A few of the cuties are preening and even some of the uglies, who should know better, are walking around like they are the one. Some have that look that if they don't get any booty they are going to rape someone, and some of the old heads are dreaming about back in the day when they ruled the scene. As an old head, I never ruled the scene.

So I'm looking around and it hits me. I hate queens. Not in the let's burn them all mentality or the ex-gay crap (to all the former queens out there: kiss my ass you weak punks). My distaste for everything gay is in the way we act. Sure a motherfucker is generalizing but if I can't do it here where can I do it?

What are our ways, you ask? We are some shallow whores. I always put my ear to conversations around me and on this night I heard more shit about workout techniques than I need to hear. Yes, Yes. I know. Everybody wants to be healthy and have the body of Adonis. That shit I get, but is that all we can talk about? Do we really need to waste air yapping about personal trainers and diet?

And when did it become cool for queens to copy each other like sad clones? Must we all wear Abercombie clothes? Just because you wear those cheap ass t-shirts, you are not going to be gang-banged by the models in the ads. And shit, haven't we heard the freaking company was a little bit racist.

If we wear bullshit clothes, we also make ourselves the center of the world. Maybe it's a NYC queen thing, but every gay has some bullshit story about being a star or fucking a star. I once had a date with some mf (stop laughing) who went on and on and on and on and on and on and on about his brief moment in the sun when he was a guest on the Rosie O'Donnell Show. Yes I know the heifa hasn't had her own show in ages but this man was still telling the tale, with pictures.

And what the fuck do we have about age. I'm not asking for you young things to hop in my bed (if you want to give me a call), but why is every old queen acting like he's 18 by using the words "bro" or "dude" or dancing to some song that came out yesterday? Is it a sin to be old now and groove only to the sounds of Monk?

And you young things need to calm the fuck down. Yes your booty is nice and tasty now but you are going to age like everybody else. And this is the thing no one tells you about getting old: desire never leaves.

Lastly we are dumb. Dumb as rocks. We don't read books nor know any history; however, we can tell you the freaking clothes in Britney's latest video. As if what that tart wears really matters.

I got nothing against my fellow sodomites, but I do wish we as a people stepped our game up a bit.

What Happened to my Writers?

Wyler Nation has a roster of 5 talented writers (excluding myself of course) but it seems as though those writers have disappeared on me. Oh where, oh where could my writers be? I miss the blunt writing style of Captain Faggot and the crabby rants of James B. Wyler. Noah and Curt can go fuck themselves, just kidding, I miss hearing from all of you!

Wyler Nation Vacation Sweepstakes: Update

Some of you may recall that I am holding a contest where the winner will receive an all expenses paid vacation with the Wyler family along with other great prizes. I just wanted to give everyone an update on the progress of the competition thus far.

I have narrowed down the playing field to just 10 guys. Out of those guys, 9 of them have been interviewed by Marcus and 1 still needs to be interviewed. The voting round will commence once all the interviews are completed and Marcus has chosen 6 semi-finalist out of the 10 interviewees. YOU will get to vote and the contestant that gets the most votes wins!

Stay Tuned...

You Are What You Eat

Whenever conversing with a nutritionist, the phrase "You are what you eat" always manages to find its way into our dialogue. I always thought they were talking about my skin color, "You're so pasty white because you swallow too much cum!" You know, kind of like the all shrimp diet is why flamingos are so pink. Apparently that's not exactly what they meant. I figured that out on my own when all I ate was dark chocolate for a month and I still maintained my see through complexion. I guess what they meant to say is that what you eat, in one way or another, will reflect the kind of person that you are.

If I truly am what I eat, then earlier today while I was shopping for underwear, I was a total asshole, a big dick, and an even bigger dick-wad. Actually, to be exact, I was one smooth asshole, two huge dicks, and two ample dick-wads... I shouldn't shop on an empty stomach and especially not in a men's underwear store with a predominantly gay clientele. I barely know how to properly interact with non-porn homos as it is. When I'm hungry, my poor judgment suffers even more and it becomes easier for me to forget whatever manners I may have and just turn into a complete asshole/dick. Of course being a dick ultimately results with things blowing up in my face...

What does your diet say about you?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

Screwed Loose

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.