Showing posts with label Why So Serious?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Why So Serious?. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Good News

Have you heard the good news? If not, then watch the video below.


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Skeet Fighter

Are you a fan of Street Fighter? If you're answer is yes, then watch the video after the jump. If you're answer is no, then watch the video after the jump.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Suicide is for Pussies

The video below sums up my opinion of the people who contemplate and/or commit suicide. These are the Jingle Cats and this is their Last Resort.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I am the Face of HIV in the Gay Porn Industry

Is that pompous of me to say? Yes but I'm saying it anyway. Look. People keep telling me I'm not the only positive model in the industry and I know I'm not. In fact, I've met(fucked) fellow positive models so I know I'm not alone in the Plus Boat. Some have even voluntarily released their status to those who'd care to know. The problem is, none of their news has captured the public's attention enough to take my red ribbon away. Depending on your point of view, I'm still the cautionary tale, the walking PSA, the sympathy queen, and/or the HIV role model. I'm not sure if this is a good thing but I'll take it anyway! Until some other gay porn slut comes out as positive AND has his big story displayed/discussed in all four corners of the HomoWorld, then I am the ONLY Poz in the Gay Porn Village.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Please Don't Urinate In My Bath Water

By MARCUS WYLER

My boyfriend, the Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, works real hard for the money.
Not many men are cut out to be a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional and my boyfriend is proud to be one. It's a CAREER that he takes very seriously. As a Phallus and Seminal Fluid Receptacle Professional, he has a very labor-intensive, multi-positional job. He practices for hours and studies every night in order to better his skills of phallus and seminal fluid receiving. Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him being taught by a private tutor. No time and place is off limits when it comes to his work. It requires my boyfriend to use every muscle in his body (and a few organs), some more than others of course, and it usually involves heavy usage of his mandibles. He must perform his duties along side a partner in front of a scrutinizing crew, who watches their every move and even captures it on video. Needless to say, when he works, he is usually sore and exhausted before the day is even over.

So I thought it would be a nice gesture to take a long hot bubble bath together after he was done practicing for the afternoon. I mean nothing is more relaxing than taking a nice long hot bubble bath with the love of your life after a hard hour's work, right? I could tell him about the noises I heard coming from the backyard and he could tell me why he had grass stains on his jeans. I thought it'd be romantic... Well it was very romantic, until he urinated in the bath water. I've heard of urinating in the shower, lots of people do it, but who the hell pisses in bathwater that you are currently soaking in?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I Have a NEW Friend and Today is His Birthday

His name is "Aiden". He lives in Houston. He suffers from high-self esteem. And he is one of the two people I call a friend in the Bayou City. Aiden is gay. A gay whorey bottom (we have that in common, among other things...). And today is his gay whorey bottom bitch birthday. Can you guess how old he is turning? 14? 16? I swear he's legal... in some countries.

Our friendship sprouted on the pretense that I would help take him from a twink whore to a bona fide muscle slut thus enabling him to spread his ass-cheeks on such classy and tasteful sites like MasonWyler.com and HoleandaHeartBeat.com. As he is right now, skin and bones, the only work he could get would be for various twink sites/concentration camps. Sure, concentration camps are fun but he wants more than that.

He wants to become a well-known porn model, one that demands a high-scene rate and everyone's cock-stroking attention. He needs muscle to achieve that. He needs to look more like a corn fed Texas boy not an Auschwitz/BoyCrush Survivor. I was suppose to help him gain that muscle and put some meat on his bones...but it seems like I'm better at simply showing him how to be a better dick-worshiping slut. What can I say, it just comes naturally to me. Marcus is a more effective drill sergeant in the gym anyway. All the hot sweaty muscle boys working out just take my focus away from almost anything else going on. Regardless of who's pushing him to reach his goal, I have no doubt in my mind that one day Aiden the twink will become Aiden the stud. It'll just take some time... and alot of HARD work. Like seriously hard work. Maybe even some plastic surgery. Okay, that was lie, he'll need a ton of plastic surgery. But he'll eventually get there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDEN. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!
Like a Brother... A Little Brother.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Fuck and Tell


A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE WE COPULATE: PART THREE

I am NOT discreet. I don't care if you're a policeman, army captain, construction worker, celebrity, politician, preacher, partnered, or married. If you lay pipe in my tunnel of fudge then chances are that your mom, your sister, your brother, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your son, your daughter, your priest, or your boss will know about it the next day. Not really, but you get my point, discretion is not something that I practice nor value. Sleep with me at your own risk. I fuck and tell.

Gay 4 Gay

A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE WE COPULATE: PART TWO

I am NOT straight acting. I am GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. That's Fag Factor Five in case you can't count. I like other OUT GAY men. You're a flaming faggot? No problem. May your fire burn bright. I'm like a moth to the light and your gayness turns me on. Don't get me wrong, I still want a man and I want to be able to tell that your a man without having to take off layers of girly clothing and make up. But just because you cut hair better than you throw a football does not lose you any MAN points in my book. In fact, I prefer it. I get enough unappreciative "straight" dick during a shoot week, outside of work, thanks but no thanks. I want to taste the rainbow not tuna flavored penis that's been doused in shame. I am not available for on the down low semen release. I am not going to guide you through your sexual discovery/confusion. And I'm not your stepping stone out of the closet. If you want to fuck then you best be queer and you best be proud. I am GAY 4 GAY.

Just Do Me

A FEW THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE WE COPULATE: PART ONE

Sex is a wonderful thing. Sexual arousal, sexual conquest, and sexual fulfillment are all activities that I take great pleasure in. Depending on my mood, these are all activities that require a partner or two... or three... or an entire gang. Some people may think that I have no trouble finding playmates for my bedroom/backroom/bathroom stall/dressing room/truck stop dates but more often than not, finding these partners takes a little bit of effort. Not like many of you want to sleep with me but for the few of you who do, there are a some things you should know about me before you even try. This is one of them:

I am NOT your future boyfriend. No matter how affectionate I'm being towards you during our night/hours/half hour/5 minutes together, I don't want to be your boyfriend. I already have a boyfriend. I'm only capable of loving one person and that one person is Marcus (admittedly I do a lousy job of it but still). I'm NOT saying that I'm so good in bed that you'll fall in love with me. I'm actually pretty horrid in bed but for some reason my old geezer/5 year old child amalgamation of a nerd-centric personality seems to make the sluts I sleep with fall head over heels for me. Don't. It's all about fun for me, fun found in your hard-on, not in your heart. My emotions are not a part of our equation so don't involve yours. It's sinful, adulterated, no strings attached fornication, nothing more, maybe less. Just friends are fine but fuck buddies are what I aim for. To put it simply, just do me.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Gay Marriage is NOT That Important

Sure I'd love to be able to legally wed Marcus. But really, at least in the western world, we don't have it that bad. We've actually done quite well for ourselves. There aren't any signs in shop windows saying "No Gays Allowed", we aren't constantly denied employment, and our houses of worship aren't burnt to the ground. We aren't treated that unfairly by the rest of the country. Our neighborhoods are generally safe, expensive, and well kept. We have a disproportionate amount of representation in national government and national media. So why all the angst? And why is it directed at gay marriage?

Gay marriage should be at the bottom of the list of things that get our community's panties in a knot. The things we should be fighting for is freedom for gays in places where they are being persecuted and executed. Or the teaching of "gay is OK" during sex ed in public schools. Or a cure for AIDS. Or discrimination protection. Or universal health care. Or free college education. Gaining marriage rights doesn't give us equality. It just means we'd be free to get a divorce and give those good-for-nothing exes a claim to the money they didn't earn and the house they didn't build.

FAGS - HAGS = BETTER GAY NIGHTLIFE

Integration isn't everything it's cracked up to be. One of the most annoying things about being dragged out to the gay scene is walking in and seeing the amount of dick-hungry females taking up very limited gay space.

Numerous gay clubs have become infested with estrogen oozing bachelorette parties, "I'm so wasted" sorority girls, and fat chicks looking for a self-esteem booster. Gay acceptance has gone too far, it's about time we draw a line in the glitter and add some fine print: Adam 4 Adam only. You have a vagina? Great, nobody here wants it. Please go away and be a frothing whore elsewhere. Seriously, stop feeling up our go-go boys, stop clogging up our dance floors, and stop holding up our bartenders.

As a heterosexual female you have a plethora of STRAIGHT venues to drink, meet a man, and ultimately go home alone and unfilled just like you would if you went to a gay club. You can flagrantly flaunt your tetons at the next WWE Match or Exotic Car Expo. You can suck face with a man who might actually bone you at your local football game or monster truck rally. You can get wasted and be the slut you were born to be at a million and one straight bars, Frat parties, and any street corner in any neighborhood that does NOT start with Castro and end with Chelsea.

AND FAGGOTS, STOP BRINGING YOUR HAGS TO THE GAY BARS. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU MAKING OUT WITH A CHICK OR GRINDING YOUR ASS ON HER VAGINA.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Different But Equal


YES you are a faggot and NO it's not normal. But it's totally fabulous.

The sooner we all realize this, the better. As a community we are NOT unified by our careers, our talents, our sense of style, our favorite music, our love of the gym, or any other trivial trait we may or may not share in common. We ARE unified by our HOMOsexuality.

The fact that we are men who love men puts us in a minuscule minority that isn't fully respected by the heterosexual majority and is understandably misunderstood. Honestly, we are freaks of nature and we should embrace that. We should STOP trying to convince the breeders that we are JUST like them. We're not. Sure most men probably just want to find the ever elusive feeling of "true happiness", that we all probably share in common but that's where our underlying similarities end. Most men do NOT seek true happiness in another man's underpants or find it in a muscle stud named Zane. Why the hell would we want to be just the same as everyone else anyway?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

N_GGERS*

*People that annoy you

Can you guess the title word?

Before I reveal what it is I want to take the time to explain my story from yesterday, my choice of words, and my opinion on the subject matter.

In the simplest of terms, racism is the belief that one racial group is inherently superior to another. It's a doctrine that a persons race determines his capabilities, his merits, and his shortcomings. By that definition I would not consider myself racist and I would argue till the cows came home with anyone who would label me as such. My use of a racial slur was inexcusable, insensitive, and ignorant. But not racist. I do not think white people are better in any way than black people.

I know that I will never understand what it feels like to be a black man and hear/read the n-word and that's why I will never argue that it is OK for me to use it. Regardless of the situation.

I am sorry to anyone that I may have indirectly offended. I did not have any racist feelings when I used the n-word and I apologize if my story hurt you in some way. To the Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit, this apology is not for you, I INTENDED TO OFFEND YOU as you offended me.

But please keep in mind that I am no saint. I am not patient. I am not very tolerant of opinions I do not agree with. I have a bad sense of humor. I am hypocritical. I have a bad temper. I don't normally think before I speak. And I am human.


If everything I have said so far is not enough to gain the forgiveness of the gay black community then what if I offered up my ass in The Next Black Balled Movie or Niggas' Revenge 2? Would that set things gay?

Although that might be more of a reward to me instead of a punishment... But I'm sure if you find the right models, dominant rough tops that would have no mercy and just tear my hole apart, like say... Diesel Washington for example, then I'm sure I'd learn my lesson.

And maybe I'd never go back ;)

P.S. The title word of this blog is:
N_GGERS - People that annoy you = N*A*GGERS
If you thought it was some other word. Does that make you a racist?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Everyone's a Little Bit Racist*

*UPDATE: CLICK HERE for an explanation.


A few days ago, after swimming a couple of laps at the gym pool, I decided to spend a few minutes in the dry sauna while I dried myself off. Two fully-clothed, rotund, black men were sitting inside, one was dressed in a purple sweat suit while the other seemed to be wearing a work uniform. From what I could hear of their conversation, I gathered that they were under the impression that simply causing their bodies to perspire would get rid of their excessive fat content. As I sat down, the one in the sweat suit turned to me and said:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit
"Are you a faggot son?"

Me
"Excuse me?"

And like it was nothing he repeated his question:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit
"Are you a faggot?"

If I was in the suburbs or in one of the many ghettos that surround Houston I could see how this kind of question could be asked with such indifference (and ignorance). But this wasn't a gym in the suburbs or the ghetto, We were in midtown, the gay area of town. It would be an understatement to say that at least 50% of the members in this gym consist of totally out of the closet homosexual men.

Me
"If you are asking me if I am a HO-MO-SEXUAL, then yes I AM A HOMO-SEXUAL. But You shouldn't use that word!"

"What word?" the fat black man in the purple sweat suit asked.

Me
"Faggot. You shouldn't say the word faggot. It's offensive."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Faggots are an offense to god. You need to be a real man, the way god intended you to be"

Me
"Can you please stop saying that word?"

The Fat black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Do you know that it's wrong to be gay, it says it in the bible. Aren't you afraid of burning in hell?"

Me
"Listen, you believe what you want to but please keep it to yourself."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"And what the fuck are you wearing? Some kind of faggot ass bikini? You know this is a gym right?"

I was wearing a speedo. Like the kind pictured above.

Me
"I was swimming. This is what swimmers wear."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Suit
"That's what faggots wear."

I wish I was a better man. A man who could take the high ground, turn the other cheek, and simply just walk away. Or I wish I was able to peacefully converse with those who I may disagree with, without letting anger and hatred cloud my judgement and dictate my actions, but I'm just not that man.

Me
"And that purple sweat suit is what niggers wear"

And then I quickly ran for my life...




When was the last time you were a little bit racist?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

*I'm only racist when I'm put in situations like what I described above... OR when choosing between sex partners. I prefer ethnic boys. But as most of my videos show, I like white boys too.

Monday, March 9, 2009

You Are What You Eat

Whenever conversing with a nutritionist, the phrase "You are what you eat" always manages to find its way into our dialogue. I always thought they were talking about my skin color, "You're so pasty white because you swallow too much cum!" You know, kind of like the all shrimp diet is why flamingos are so pink. Apparently that's not exactly what they meant. I figured that out on my own when all I ate was dark chocolate for a month and I still maintained my see through complexion. I guess what they meant to say is that what you eat, in one way or another, will reflect the kind of person that you are.

If I truly am what I eat, then earlier today while I was shopping for underwear, I was a total asshole, a big dick, and an even bigger dick-wad. Actually, to be exact, I was one smooth asshole, two huge dicks, and two ample dick-wads... I shouldn't shop on an empty stomach and especially not in a men's underwear store with a predominantly gay clientele. I barely know how to properly interact with non-porn homos as it is. When I'm hungry, my poor judgment suffers even more and it becomes easier for me to forget whatever manners I may have and just turn into a complete asshole/dick. Of course being a dick ultimately results with things blowing up in my face...

What does your diet say about you?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The RE5 Demo Made Me Jizz in My Pants And No It's NOT Racist


The Resident Evil 5 Demo is available for download on PSN and XBOX Live and the game will be released for the PS3 and XBOX360 ONLY (The Wii can't handle it) on March 14th 2009. I've played the demo many, many times, both as Chris Redfield and as Sheva, I can't fucking wait to get the game!

The game is a bit controversial since it's one of the first major games where the people that you kill are predominantly Black, African to be more specific. That, coupled with the way the non-zombified Africans are portrayed in the game, caused some people to call the game racist but I think that's baloney. Plenty of games have whites, latinos, middle easterners, and asians as the enemy targets, so why not blacks? In the last Resident Evil you got to go through Europe slaughtering European zombies, this time its African zombies in Africa. You can't set a game in Sub Saharan Africa and then have all the townspeople be white. Well maybe you could but then that WOULD be racist... Kind of like when Sidney Toler and Warner Oland played Charlie Chan.

The gameplay is pretty intense and the graphics simply blow me away. Like most visual art, it's subjective and can be taken in many different ways. This is my personal take on what I know about the game so far: A roided-out muscle stud and his bad-ass sidekick, tear up villages and murder zombies, all played out in high-def. goodness - What more could an avid gamer ask for?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Have Some Decency! This is PORN for God's Sake!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Refund for No Fun

*Unless I say, "Seriously", Don't take EVERYTHING I say so seriously.

This Message is intended for the 50 WebCam Talk-A-Thon Participants.

I'm bad. I know. I'm a big let down and I don't really have any excuses. I may have a busy schedule and my boyfriend's family may have moved in but if I was the slightest bit professional I would have still found the time to fulfill the promises I made you. I mean I found plenty of time to go out and get my throat and hole fucked raw until my insides were filled with cum. I had time to hit the bars, get drunk as hell, pass out in a bathhouse, and wake up the next morning with seed leaking out of my cunt. I had time to pay two muscled escorts to tag team my boy pussy bareback and make me suck their cocks clean after they blew their loads. I had time to schedule a bareback gang fuck on my ass in Budapest for March. I had time to suck off three guys in a public restroom and drink their piss. I did all that and more when I should have been spending time with you. Sadly, I'm obviously too irresponsible, too selfish, and too much of a slut to be able to manage such a simple undertaking like answering your phone calls and masturbating live on webcam for you once or twice a week. I will be issuing full refunds to all of the 50 Webcam Talk-a-thon Participants. My PayPal account is currently frozen since someone decided to report that I was "selling sexually explicit material and/or services" which PayPal seemingly does not allow. I am working to unfreeze your money and return it in a timely manner. I apologize for disappointing you.

The Cock-Addicted Cum Slut That Let You Down
-Mason Wyler-

P.S. I still get on my cam every other night around 9pm CST.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

James B. Wyler here and what I don't like

By JAMES B. WYLER

After a torturous negotiation, Mason is letting me write for him. My job is to be the resident crank. The old man in your neighborhood who hates everybody. Think Eastwood in Gran Torino, minus any guns and Oscar buzz. If you lack a sense of humor, think too highly of your opinions, or are easily offended you will despise everything I write. That's okay. I'm used to being disliked. Being old, fat, colored, and a sodomite prepares you for hate juice.

So let's get started. Here is a random list of stuff that annoys. Enjoy. Or not.

1. Porn stars who don't kiss: when I put down my retirement money for some gay porn, I expect a decent product. Nothing is a bigger sin than bad porn, and any of it that doesn't have lip locking is lousy beyond measure. And by kissing, I don't mean what those sissy Bel Ami boys do (which looks like a dog lapping water).

2. Queens who don't read books: sure the media world is dying and books are so last century, but any faggot who does not use his/her library card (or spend some cash at a local independent) needs to stop wasting air.

3. Madonna: this harlot had to take singing lessons so she could sing in that movie wreck called Evita. What else needs to be said?

4. Tedd Haggard: will Diesel Washington and Barrett Long kidnap this punk and DP the fuck out of him already! Come on Chi-Chi. Set this shit up.

5. Anyone who extols the past as a better time: old motherfuckers like me do this all time. Talk about "back in the day" as if it were Nirvana. Like the Judge said in Blood Meridian: Men's memories are uncertain and the past that was differs little from the past that was not.

6. Sexist queens: any guy who puts dick in his mouth or his booty, is required to keep the misogyny at home.

7. Bad peach pie: anyone who makes terrible peach pie deserves to be stomped to death.

8. The gay marriage debate: when did we turn into whiny whores? If I hear one more queen complain how unfair it is he can't marry his man, I'm giving up porn watching ( the industry would collapse minus my cash). Jesus. Life is unfair. Get over it.

9. American Idol: any show that put the words Clay Aiken in the public sphere is a harbinger of doom.

I know 10 is the standard, but 9 is all you get. See you next week-end. Or not.