Positive, Thankful, and Over It

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A Crime is a Crime... Right?

What the hell is the Matthew Shepard Act? Maybe I'm not properly informed but why do gay people want this? How does this benefit our community? Justice is suppose to be blind. When it comes to the court room, it shouldn't make a difference if you're black or white, gay or straight, religious or atheist, physically fit or physically impaired. I don't think the killing or beating of a minority is any more or less despicable than the killing or beating of a non-minority. A homophobic Hungarian tourist who beats a gay geezer to death with a banjo shouldn't have a more severe punishment than a crazy Texan bitch who murders her husband by repeatedly running him over with a car. Regardless of the motivation, no matter which way you look at it, murder is murder. All violent acts are wrong and the level of punishments should match the seriousness of the crimes and the circumstances in which they took place NOT the background/ethnicity/gender/sexuality of those involved.

Party of None

Almost 30 years ago Bette Midler sang, "Friends", to a crowd of scantily clad, horny Manhattan gay boys. And today I say to you, she was right, you've got to have friends. Life gets awfully lonely without them. That's the way I feel anyway. I have work friends, but they all live in California and New York. I have old friends but they all live in Dallas and Fort Worth. I, however, live in Houston and in Houston I seemingly have none. The fact that I didn't have any friends became painfully obvious on New Years Eve, when both Marcus and I let 2008 come and go without even noticing it, both of us sound asleep while other, more popular couples, were out partying the night away, surrounded by their closest amigos. That week I realized I needed to be more social.

I first met Aiden back in January. I'm in porn, he's in porn. I play video games, he plays video games. I'm a bottom, he's a bottom. I have a boyfriend, he has a boyfriend. AND we both live in Houston. It was inevitable that we would eventually meet. Turns out, we make pretty good friends and there's absolutely no sexual tension between us... unless you throw a double -sided dildo into the equation.

I'm very glad to have Aiden as a friend but one friend is definitely NOT enough. Especially for an insatiable friend-whore like myself. I think its particularly sad that I have over 25,000 "friends" on myspace but only one real life friend that lives in the same city as I do. I want friendS, not just ONE friend. Not myspace friends. Not online friends. Not see you once every now and then friends, but actual, in the flesh, I'll hang out with you alot and often, make fun of you when you're drunk or when you're having a bad hair day, and I won't try to get into your pants, FRIENDS. I mean I have met a few people here and there, made a few acquaintances but no one else has really stuck yet.*

So in an attempt to kick my friend making initiative into high gear, I would like to address the gay boys of Houston, TX:

Gay Boys of Houston Texas, If you see me and/or Marcus at a bar, in a park, at a mall, in the bathroom, at an orgy, on the street corner, or anywhere else that we may be, feel free to say hello and strike up a friendly conversation.
BE MY FRIEND!

Can you smell the desperation?

*This statement does not include a person that I will write about at a later date

If I Spoon Fed You Shit, Would You Eat It?

With the rise of Twitter, the ongoing success of celebrity gossip blogs/magazines, and the never-ending supply of reality television, I have to wonder, Are you really that asinine? Twitter? Really? What the hell are people smoking? "I'm writing a blog about blogging." "I'm scratching my nuts because they itch." "I'm sucking off a football team in the locker room."... If you like to twitter then you are easily amused and well... stupid. I'm no creative genius or original writer by any means but I at least try to be. I fail but I try. I'm always worried about whether or not you'll find my entries interesting, funny, offensive, or arousing. It's ridiculous how much effort I put into my writing especially since most of the time I end up making a fool of myself and since most of you can't read anyway (or prefer not to). Reading is for losers. But if I knew I could just spoon feed you crap then I would (different from the crap I'm spoon feeding you right now). I would just redundantly tell you what I'm doing right now at this very moment, no matter how mundane or dumb it may be. I would just promote every damn gay sex scene ever made. Or I'd just post pictures of people that I drew on and say something bitchy about them. And I'd do it over and over again just to drive up traffic and make more money. Apparently the key to a FINANCIALLY successful blog is quantity not quality. And quantity is something I'm thinking about giving you.

Would you still read Wyler Nation if I posted more often but the entries were even more retarded than they are now?

Craigslist Redundancy Broken By Pie

If you spend any amount of time trolling the M4M ads on Craigslist then you must love re-runs (I know I do). Each ad seems to be the same as the last one except with different incorrectly spelled words. Maybe straight is spelled "strait" instead of "str8" or discreet is spelled "discrete" instead of "discreat." But for all intents and purposes, most of the ads are redundant, repetitive, and identical.

Most ads go a little something like this:

Headless body shot here, another wierd angled body shot there (so you can't really tell how muscled/fat the person is and it probably isn't even the same person thats in the 1st picture), A picture of a lonesome penis, Picture of an ass and/or hole, maybe a picture of a leg, and if the guy feels really daring, a thumbnail-sized fuzzy picture of somebody's face.

With text that reads:

"VGL Str8-acting jock seeks NSA fun with HOT muscled AF type, I am DDF and DISCREET UB2."

I'm not sure what very good looking means to these people nor if they know how to show it in a picture. I don't know what constitutes as straight-acting in the Craigslist world (sucking dick is straight acting? Who knew!?) or how poorly designed clothes represent a group of "hot" people.

Call me crazy but I would imagine that no one is getting fucked via Craigslist. Just murdered and robbed. And maybe if you're lucky, a good old pie in the face (WTF).

Do guys really get laid using Craigslist?

Suck On These!

Speaking strictly physical appearances here. Some guys are ass-men, some guys are size queens, some guys care more about the size of your body (be it skinny, chubby, or muscled) or whether you have 6 pack abs, while other guys fall for a handsome face. Most guys want all the above plus something else like blond or brunette, brown eyes or blue eyes, and the list goes on and on. In my book, what really matters is how much you have in your bank account. Just kidding.

Like most gays I know, I want a stud who's a "total package". I'm not too particular on color. The color of your hair, eyes, skin, underwear, it doesn't make that much difference to me. Nice muscles, big dick, handsome face, AND a nice ass... That's what really matters. But if you work out at the same gym as I do, or work in gay porn, or live on Planet Earth, you would realize that men who can be classified as "The Total Package" are actually quite plentiful. Once I realized this, then certain physical features, things that can differentiate a person from the pack or make a guy slightly unique amongst his peers, became more important for me to look for.

When asked to choose the hottest between two "Total Packages" based solely on what my eyes can see (not that this happens often or ever), the deciding factor would probably come down to the chests. I'm a chest man with an emphasis on nipples. More specifically, I love gym-sculpted, shirt-stretching pecs and a pair of big, suckable nipples. A man who possessed all the above would send me over the edge.

These guys have my vote for the most suckable pecs/nipples on the internet!

What physical features do you look for in a man?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

Everyone's a Little Bit Racist*

*UPDATE: CLICK HERE for an explanation.


A few days ago, after swimming a couple of laps at the gym pool, I decided to spend a few minutes in the dry sauna while I dried myself off. Two fully-clothed, rotund, black men were sitting inside, one was dressed in a purple sweat suit while the other seemed to be wearing a work uniform. From what I could hear of their conversation, I gathered that they were under the impression that simply causing their bodies to perspire would get rid of their excessive fat content. As I sat down, the one in the sweat suit turned to me and said:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit

"Are you a faggot son?"

Me

"Excuse me?"

And like it was nothing he repeated his question:

Fat Black Man in Purple Sweat Suit

"Are you a faggot?"

If I was in the suburbs or in one of the many ghettos that surround Houston I could see how this kind of question could be asked with such indifference (and ignorance). But this wasn't a gym in the suburbs or the ghetto, We were in midtown, the gay area of town. It would be an understatement to say that at least 50% of the members in this gym consist of totally out of the closet homosexual men.

Me

"If you are asking me if I am a HO-MO-SEXUAL, then yes I AM A HOMO-SEXUAL. But You shouldn't use that word!"

"What word?" the fat black man in the purple sweat suit asked.

Me

"Faggot. You shouldn't say the word faggot. It's offensive."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Faggots are an offense to god. You need to be a real man, the way god intended you to be"

Me
"Can you please stop saying that word?"

The Fat black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"Do you know that it's wrong to be gay, it says it in the bible. Aren't you afraid of burning in hell?"

Me
"Listen, you believe what you want to but please keep it to yourself."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Sweat Suit
"And what the fuck are you wearing? Some kind of faggot ass bikini? You know this is a gym right?"

I was wearing a speedo. Like the kind pictured above.

Me
"I was swimming. This is what swimmers wear."

The Fat Black Man in the Purple Suit
"That's what faggots wear."

I wish I was a better man. A man who could take the high ground, turn the other cheek, and simply just walk away. Or I wish I was able to peacefully converse with those who I may disagree with, without letting anger and hatred cloud my judgement and dictate my actions, but I'm just not that man.

Me
"And that purple sweat suit is what niggers wear"

And then I quickly ran for my life...

When was the last time you were a little bit racist?
CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

*I'm only racist when I'm put in situations like what I described above... OR when choosing between sex partners. I prefer ethnic boys. But as most of my videos show, I like white boys too.

Am I Too Loud?

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The Devil is in the Details

By MASON WYLER

Its time to clarify a few things. I am NOT the only writer on Wyler Nation. There are multiple authors in this great country of mine, four to be exact, and we're getting awfully pissy at the people who have failed to realize this. Marcus my boyfriend, Noah the law student, Captain the Faggot, and Me your porn slut, all contribute to the upkeep of Wyler Nation. Many of you have been leaving comments addressed to me, but in response to articles that I did not author. Little mistakes like that make me feel as though I have attracted a mentally disabled following, people who flunked elementary reading and nap time. All posts that I do not write have a "BY" line at the very top of the page, directly underneath the title, so as to let the readers know who exactly to give credit to. I may even start adding a "BY" line to my posts, just to help some of you out. I wouldn't want you to continue being confused. I know how tricky figuring out who the author of these blog posts can be.

I've also been receiving emails from people asking me how to leave a comment, asking me to where to find my porn videos for free, and asking me if I am gay or straight... I even get emails from AMERICANS in some language I can't understand, usually something like this: hEyYo MaSe WaT UP BRAH? I FeEl StUpid aSkIn U Dis BuT LOL MaN U GotZ bIg DIkS CaN yO FuKz me Or sHoW a BrUtha WeRe 2 FiNe Yo fREe PoRns?! SRRY, I aInt Gotz MonEy 4 DaT ShIt. HoLLA LMAO...

Are you one of these people?

Want to learn how to finger things out for yourself? Here I'll show you:


If you know how, then CLICK HERE to leave a comment

The Re-United Mexican States

By MARCUS WYLER

After Mexico gained its independence from Spain in 1821 it made several crucial mistakes, the greatest of which was failing to secure its Northern Borders. Thus enabling thousands of Americans to illegally cross the borders and settle in the territories of Coahuila and Tejas. In a matter of years, English-speakers from America quickly became the majority in Texas. Texians began to demand things like statehood (a Mexican state), a regional capital, the freedom of religion, commerce, and owning slaves (and make English an official second language?). Mexico of course did not grant any of those wishes, which eventually led to the Texas Revolution in 1836, which led to the Mexican-American War 10 years later. In that time period, Mexico was dealt many humiliating defeats and ended up losing about 66% of their territory to the United States of America. If it weren't for the USA's victory, we might have never possessed today's national treasures such as the Church of Latter Day Saints, Hollywood, and 80's icon Dallas... Why am I bringing all this up you ask?

You know how they say that history has a habit of repeating itself? Well given our ailing economy and the two wars that don't seem to have an end in sight, immigration reform seems to have been forgotten about. I'm know where I stand on this issue (that's a whole different article) but I'm no expert on what kind of reform would be best, whether we should loosen our borders or close them... Whether we should grant amnesty or kick people out. I just know that something needs to be done, a compromise has to be made and soon.

In the states of California, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and Texas, the U.S. citizens of Hispanic descent are swiftly becoming the majority and millions of illegal Mexican immigrants are joining their ranks. Like waves of immigrants before them, they come here in search of a better life, sometimes even risking their health to cross the border on foot. Most come for job opportunity, better wages, and safer living conditions. Many have families back in Mexico to support and feed. Some take jobs away from legal citizens by accepting lower wages. Some are actually better at the jobs. Unfortunately some also come to traffic drugs and fight gang-wars. But the fact remains, most are honest hard-working people who deserve the right to pursue their dreams.

The majority of them even pay U.S. taxes. The IRS says that at least 8 million illegal immigrants pay their yearly income taxes. How do they know? Back in 1996 the IRS began issuing special tax ID numbers specifically for that purpose. Why do the illegals pay them? Probably in hopes that in the future the U.S. government will reward them with some sort of citizenship and clemency. The U.S. government can't just brush aside 8 to 12 million PEOPLE when they are demanding attention. Especially when they have 44 million Spanish-speaking, American Citizens mostly concentrated in the same region, who are standing beside them... and they can vote.

I think our government is failing to see how important of an issue this is. These people can not and will not be ignored. Not only do Hispanics make up for about 30% of the population in the territories we took at the end of the Mexican-American War but some estimates say that in 10 years they will be the MAJORITY in the Southwest United States.


I know it's a long shot, but if indeed Texas and those other states became part of Mexico again... it wouldn't be that bad. Would it?

CLICK HERE TO COMMENT

Ask The Nation: Bisexual Looking For Love

Dear Mason,

When it comes to relationships, I feel that it is important to be straight forward and honest about who you are and what you believe. I believe that sexuality is a big part of what makes you, you. I am bisexual. I'm not confused about my sexuality, I'm not a gay man just pretending to be bisexual, I know what I like and I'm not ashamed of it. I dig boys AND girls. Which seems to always get me in trouble when I'm looking for love.

It's not like I introduce myself as bisexual right off the bat but normally after the third date or so I share that bit of information. Immediately afterwards, like clockwork, whoever it is that I am dating at the time will suddenly have a change of heart. Sometimes they're honest and tell me that they "can't handle" being with someone who is bisexual. Usually they lie and say everything is cool but by the time the next date is suppose to happen they cancel and then I don't hear from them again.

I don't get it. I'm not trying to brag but I think I'm a pretty good catch. I'm a 27 year old chemical engineer who is financially stable, mentally sound, and emotionally available. I stand 6'1", I have 170 lbs. of well-defined muscle, and my endowment is nothing to scoff at. I've never had any problems getting laid by men or women but when it comes to relationships, I always end up failing. Is being bisexual really that big of a turn-off? Or are gay men and straight women just really close-minded?

Sincerely,
Bisexual Hopeless Romantic

____________________________________________________________________

Dear B.H.R.

Contrary to the opinion of four urban chickens who famously squawked, "I thought bisexuality was just a stop along the way to Gay Town", I strongly believe that bisexuality is not a myth and that it's not always a step towards Gaydom. But with that being said, many people believe that it is and that my friend is why you are having trouble with being open about your sexuality while trying to land a steady boyfriend/girlfriend.

I think I speak for alot of out gay men when I say, subconsciously we equate bisexuality with greed, denial, and confusion. Many of us had to deal with all that back in high school. We've been emotionally attached to boys who left us for girls, we've experienced guys who renounced any homosexual contact they might of had with us as just mere experimentation, and we've dealt with boys so deep in the closet that no amount of rope could pull them out... Or maybe that was just me.

What's even more detrimental to your people are these new age "open minded" love hippes ie. flaming faggots (and I mean FLAMING) who for one reason or another think that spewing bullshit like... "it's the person that I fall in love with, not the gender..." makes them more attractive. Which leaves the rest of us GAY men thinking bullshit whenever someone claims to like both men and women. And nobody likes bullshit.

But in any case, I think that by the time most of us homos reach our 20's and beyond, we realize that there are millions of gay guys out there who embrace their sexuality and aren't afraid to label themselves accordingly. We realize that there is no need to be dealing with closet cases, boys in denial, hippie love BS, and yes, even true bisexuals. Relationships and Dating are complicated as is. Sometimes boyfriends quarrel over the smallest of differences. Why on earth would we want to deal with something as big as a difference in sexual identity when it's mainly our identical sexual attractions that bring us together?

I'm no expert on women but I can't imagine their reasons for staying away from you being very different.

My advice... Lie. Or date a fellow bisexual. I'm not saying there isn't a gay man or straight woman out there who is perfectly comfortable dating a bisexual man... But with the luck you've been having, I would assume they are hard to find.

Good Luck!
Mason Wyler

CLICK HERE
TO GIVE YOUR OWN ADVICE

This is NOT a Free Country

I created this nation, I set the rules. Let it be known far and wide that this is not a free country. This is an autocracy. There is only one law here and that law will be strictly enforced:

If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

That's right, I'm taking away your freedom of speech. No longer will voices of dissent be heard. No more insults bashing my overly large but fragile ego. No more accusations of lies or conspiracy. No more doltish comments left by simpletons who fail to comprehend my writing. From this moment on, these borders are only open to my friends and fans. All cretins are now and forever indiscriminately banned.

It is important to remember that I created this place for lovers not haters. I intend to keep it that way. And don't you ever forget, this is not a free nation, this is WYLER Nation.

Insulting Mason

Questions & Answers: Part Two


I appreciate reader participation, whether its good or bad. Reading some of the comments from my last post it's evident that some of you clearly dislike me or are disgusted by me. Which truly breaks my heart.

WHY DOESN'T EVERY ONE LOVE ME? I THOUGHT I WAS GOD'S GIFT TO GAY MAN!!! WHO WOULDN'T WANT ME?!?!? I SHOULD JUST OVERDOSE ON CRACK AND KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW! Wait, I don't do drugs. Oh well moving on. One of you mentioned my huge nose and something about getting it fixed. Yeah it is pretty big and ugly isn't it? I'm not sure about plastic surgery though. I mean I don't think the best plastic surgeons in the world could save my butt ugly mug. And if anything desperately needs to be fixed it would be my ears, have you seen them?! They're HUGE, I'm like a mix between Dumbo and Spock! But for the time being they give guys something to grab on to while they fuck my face.

Some other people keep mentioning a James Robert Wallace. According to Wikipedia he is a Scottish Baron who is a member of the British House of Lords and we just happen to have the same birth name. Personally, I prefer to be called Mason these days but who am I to tell you what to do. Can I be expecting stalkers now? Maybe some mean spirited snail mail? Its been awhile since I've gotten a hand written letter! Oh I'm so excited!

I read a comment where someone accused me of being a liar and off my rocker... Did you know that I was offered the role of Bruce Wayne for Batman Begins but I turned it down, the character wasn't slutty enough. They offered it to me again for The Dark Knight but I was too busy sucking off Jake Gyllenhaal on the set of The Prince Of Persia to film my own blockbuster movie. Reese wasn't putting out enough to keep him satisfied. That bitch.

Some reader suggested that I'm in desperate need for help and attention. Yes Yes, My roof does need repairing, any one want to help me fix it? I also need help with painting my walls, I was thinking valentine red. What do you think? Also.... GIVE ME YOUR ATTENTION, I NEED MORE ATTENTION!!! I WILL DIE WITHOUT ATTENTION!!! Do I have your attention now? Awesome.

Another commenter implied I was soliciting sex from my readers and mentioned something about my rapist. I'm sure it was purely out of concern for my safety. Don't you worry about me mister because I'm just DYING to get raped again.


Somebody else said something about not touching me because I probably have a ton of diseases... Yeah I probably wouldn't come anywhere near me if I were you. I'm probably toxic and radioactive, like a living breathing Chernobyl. You could get cancer, herpes, male patterned baldness, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, AIDS, hepatitis A, B, C, D, F, E, AND G just for looking at my pictures. Hell, I feel sorry for the entire population of Houston, for simply being in the same city as me is probably enough for them to get a Mason Wyler STD, good thing they have the world's best medical center.

But there's just one thing that baffles my mind. I just can't possibly understand how my STD tests keep coming back negative, must be their faulty lab equipment. Or maybe my blood has become so toxic that no virus can survive in me. Either way those tests must be inaccurate.

I better contact 169,373 different models and anonymous hook-ups that I've had intercourse with so that we can plan a mass funeral together. I mean its best to plan ahead, right? Everyone is invited to attend, Bio-hazard suits required.

CLICK HERE TO INSULT MASON

Yo estaba siendo sarcástico. J'ai été sarcastique. Mi è stato sarcastico.
Minä olin sarkastinen. Ich wurde sarkastisch. 私は皮肉されていた。
Jag var sarkastisk. الأول كان يجري الساخرة

Я был саркастический.

I've Got Time

It's been almost 48 hours since the last time I blew my load, 60 hours since the last time I sucked a cock, and nearly 72 hours since I got my hole stuffed. Needless to say I'm going insane. I almost slipped this morning too.

Like I've said before, I usually start my day with sucking my boy's dick, swallowing his hot cum load, all while jerking myself off. I probably would of done just that today but when I turned over to try and grope him, I opened my eyes to find that he wasn't there. A note by the bed read: "Out running errands and don't forget, no sex or fapping for two weeks!" I totally forgot. I sat there for a minute and contemplated calling an end to my self inflicted punishment but then curiosity got the best of me once again. I really do want to know how long I can last without any sexual activity. And on top of that, I want to see if I become even more insatiable when I finally give in to my hunger. So instead of masturbating, I went for a run.

I've been slacking quite a bit lately with my marathon training and I figured all my pent up sexual energy would help me kick my running up a notch. And in return, the running would keep my mind off of sex. I was greatly mistaken. The trail was a veritable mine field of temptation. With each shirtless muscle god or fresh faced boy I passed, a new fantasy would fill my head. Within seconds blood would rush south to my nether regions engorging my boy parts, making it impossible to run. I had to leave.

When I got home I decided to take one of the commenter's advice and watch a Disney movie. Something G rated, surely that would get my mind off of cock. Wrong again. The only Disney movie I currently own is Enchanted. The entire time I watched it I kept thinking how hot it would be if Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden tag-teamed me.

Maybe it has to get worse before it gets better but as it is right now these are the thoughts that are constantly going through my head, "I need: Pumped Muscles. Dominant Tops. Big Pecs. Throbbing Cocks. Rough Fuckings. Huge Loads. In my face. In my mouth. In my hole."


My dick has been fully erect and leaking pre-cum for hours. It's seriously beginning to hurt! And my hole has gotten so hungry that every so often it voluntarily opens up like a mouth that's waiting to be fed. Writing seems to be the only way I can render my hands, mouth, dick, and ass inaccessible to myself and others during this period of celibacy.

In an attempt to keep myself busy with writing I've decided to take your questions. I can't answer every question I get but I will try my best. If there is anything you would like to ask me, anything at all, then please feel free to email your questions to WYLER_NATION@YAHOO.COM or simply post your question as a comment on here.

CLICK HERE TO ASK ME A QUESTION

Ask The Nation: Hygiene Issues

Hi Mason,

I'm having some troubles in regards to sex, so who better to ask than a porn star(or whatever level of celebrity you've attained)?

I am an 18 yr old who is fairly inexperienced but I'm willing to learn more and more from this other guy who I'm seeing at the moment. We've had sex about four times now and he's barebacked me all 4 times (thank god he has a small dick because it hurts enough as it is).

Apart from the pain there is one rather unpleasant issue with this...shit. The last two times I have noticed the smell of shit and afterwards I've wiped it off my ass (vomit), he hasn't said anything, I don't know whether he didn't notice by some miracle or he's just being polite but there is nothing more embarrassing.

I basically wipe my ass raw every time I go to the toilet and each time before I go to see him I have a shower and try to wash my douche out as best I can, I even bend over and try to get some water in there but once he starts screwing me everything seems to go all...well u know. Its a serious turn off and there is nothing more disgusting that I can think of than shit on a penis. So I pose thee this question:

What should I do to clean out my douche? What do you do? Is there some sort of cleanex I can stick up there or will I have to start wearing a scented pine tree around my ass?

Please, I beg u if u have the time give me some advise because this guy I'm with is going to introduce me to his friend in the near future who is unbelievably hot. He also has a rather large phallus.

Sincerely Yours,
Sydney's soon to be Total Cock Slut :)

_______________________________________________________

Dear Inexperienced,


You're not alone. Everybody has an asshole and everybody poops. I've known lots of people who in the beginning failed to figure out the proper way to convert there exit only tunnel into a two-way street. And there are other porn performers on that list. But sex of course is a learning experience and when it comes to anal hygiene its pretty easy to learn the error of our ways.

The first thing we need to clear up is your vocabulary, Your definition of the word "douche" seems to be incorrect. A douche is not your pleasure zone. The word douche generally has two meanings, it is often used as a noun meaning a device used to insert a stream of water into your anal cavity (and vagina for women) or it is used as a verb meaning the act of cleansing. See visual example on the left.


Now that we have that straightened out you should have an idea of what I will say next. YOU NEED TO DOUCHE OUT YOUR HOLE. Wiping is never enough. There are many different devices available to us when it comes to anal hygiene. From stand alone rubber and plastic ones all the way to stainless steel contraptions that attach to your shower head. Regardless of which one you choose make sure you know how to properly operate it. The one above speaks for itself, fill it with warm water, insert the tip into your anus as far as it can go, squeeze most of the water deep in your hole, hold the water in you for a few minutes, then release. Repeat this a few times till the water you flush out is clear.


If you choose to go with a fancier one, like the one shown on the right, then make sure not to OVER fill yourself with water and make sure the water pressure isn't extremely high, rupturing your intestines would probably hinder your hopes of becoming Sydney's biggest bottom boy.


Some people choose to go with a local pharmacy device better known as the enema. This works perfectly fine as long as you remember to empty out the solution it comes stocked with and replace it with water. This is very important because the sodium phosphate solution it comes stocked with is a LAXATIVE, meaning it will cause you to shit all night instead of fuck all night.


Remember that patience is a virtue, some days it may take just two flush outs until you are good to go and other days it may take alot more.


And don't let the fear of making a no-no stop you from enjoying the pleasure of having your hole stuffed. Though if you are thorough then the chances of giving someone a brownie surprise are pretty slim, but sometimes, Shit Happens. Don't let the embarrassment ever stop you from getting back on the horse and trying again. Just make sure you flush yourself out more the next time around.


If the problem persists, which I doubt it would, but if it did, you might want to try investing in some Colonic Hydrotherapy. Google it.


I hope this advice helps you become the best total cock slut Sydney has ever plowed. Make sure you keep us updated!

Sincerely,
Gay Porn's Currently Over-Exposed Cock Slut
Mason Wyler


What advice would you give Sydney's soon to be Total Cock Slut?